I just don’t know what to do with the information I have been given. Scary as it is, I have to be the adult and pretend to the kids that everything is alright. That things can continue, that she can be allowed to even be considered a parent blows my mind completely!
“Talk on here it is easier” my friend messaged me, it was comforting to know I had some safe friends.
“She’d assaulted him the night before we came down to the reunion!” I gushed
” Oh that was nice of her” she replied
“She’d actually set up the whole…thing…” I was still so shaken and shocked by the whole chain of events.
“I wouldn’t have put it past her to do something like that” was her world-weary recognition of the type of person we were dealing with.
“He was sobbing all night saying he couldn’t get the blood out of his head. She knew it would do his head in because of his mother and his best friend and the association blood had with him. She didn’t care if the kids saw it either!!! ” I said
“Time to get the kids off her then”
“They didn’t book her into psych this time!!!”
“What?!” The system was really failing.
“I know! When he said she had dropped them off at his place without clothes and things I knew something wasn’t right”
(Note: after he had spoken to a councillor who had told him he had made the right decision about leaving her)
“I said, do you want me to go get their clothes? He said, No she’s given me a ‘time’ to go pick them up. ‘Oh, well don’t take the kids then, I will look after them for you’ ‘No, it’s ok, she’s given me a time, so she won’t be there‘. He is sooooo naïve… I said, ‘Yes she will!’ (I was thinking about everything he’s told me about her)
“He sounds like it and he is playing right into her hands”
“Yeah, it’s like battered wife syndrome, only opposite sexes. I said, ‘If you are taking the kids there, don’t take them inside… Even if she just starts screaming at you, the kids don’t need that.’ I was worried, coz she’d assaulted him a few days earlier, the kids did not need to get amongst that!! So he calls me up at 5.30pm that eve and said, ‘I just put her in the ambulance‘ (I knew the drill about battered wife syndrome, so I could see all the signs from what he was going through. I later learned about BPD)
“The kids will end up with heaps of problems if they are subjected to it all” (it took her only 5 minutes of txts to see what everyone could see)
“Yes. I think I mentioned something about paying for therapy or something along those lines”
“They will definitely need it”
“What if they had’ve walked in behind him into the house?!!! That means she wanted them all to see it!” I couldn’t understand the mentality of someone doing something like that on purpose,
“Yep she had it all planned that way”
“No one in their right mind would do that to a 6 and a 3yr old, especially if they loved their kids. They let her out of hospital the next day!!! Put her in a taxi of all things!!!” I had never met anyone so malicious, so uncaring, so totally absorbed in themselves that they could not even care about their children to shake them out of the hatred they felt for another person. Attention seeking was all she was after.
“She probably discharged herself so they couldn’t put her away”
“…and she has a history of mental illness and suicide attempts at that hospital!” I was so beside myself I hadn’t heard what she’d said.
“Which is why she would have discharged herself” she patiently reiterated
“He said she would have totally gone away this time. But when I said to him, ‘So YOU commit her!'” he told me, ‘The kids are back at their mum’s this week!!!’ She was better at brain-fucking anyone than I had ever heard of!”
“He should have her committed!”
“I feel like shit. How can he believe her lies?”
“I’m confused. Yeah I’m over guys with kids too”
“Why? What’s happened?” I had been so busy whinging about myself I hadn’t even thought to ask her how she was. I felt ashamed of myself.
…Wish I could concentrate on something else…