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I still cannot really get used to the idea of typing random thoughts as they come up onto a screen. I guess I have usually been more of a creative free spirit, but have over the years learned to hide that self, I know not why in all of the circumstances. – yes i do, Because of the constant abuse.

I feel that others who let fly seem to have a better chance of getting what they want.
I still don’t know why she has everything and I do not have even the basics. I have less of anything than I have ever had before. My car is broken and unregistered and I don’t have the money to fix it, because I’d rather feed my children, yes I care about my children and my step-children. (I do work all the part time hours I can get, because I am the only one working) While she holidays with the money she stole from him!
I have to choose carefully what necessities I can buy, while she buys useless things that nobody would use day to day.

I’m worn thin.
I’m sick of playing support fiddle.
I’m sick of being the only one holding everyone together.
And I am the only adult when it comes to negotiating things with the children’s biological dad.
I feel so alone.
So helpless.
So unsupported.
My way of wanting to do things is never good enough,
Never fast enough,
Never of any use to anyone…