It’s always been a thing he has done, my ex-husband, taken advantage of my nice nature and the fact I like to do things correctly rather than cause a fuss or upset anyone else.
But that has now really gotten too far and I am sick of the years he has just had me be responsible for bringing up the two children and having to do every hard thing RESPONSIBLY and he just takes them for a play, or watches a movie with them or buys them stuff. He rarely wanted to take us all to do fun stuff when we were all a family, yes a married family who had chosen together to have children.
Raising children, he said, was just too hard.
One of my children has decided there’s no point in respecting their mother anymore, because their birth father lets them get away with anything. (and the woman who lives in the house refuses to engage with them if they visit… too busy on her iPad)
Yes, I was so nice I let him sell the house out from under my 2 tiny children, 6 & 3 yrs old, because he didn’t want to pay maintenance for 6 months (with his full time job & staying at a friends), just for me to pay him out then and take his name off the house.
Yes, I was so nice I let him keep 50% of the sale of that house (security / roof) that he took out from over my children’s heads. While I searched frantically for a rental (spending my half on rental and child rearing & school while he still did not pay), took the children to school and kindergarten, and worked.
Then he decided instead of bothering to pay child support, he would just not see them for 6 months. Then after missing his first Father’s day, decided out of the blue he wanted to see them again.
Yes, again I’m the stupid one for not saying… “You’re a w**ker, show me you are responsible before I let you see the children you just don’t give a s**t about.” and “Thanks for spending all the child support on drugs you loser.”
Why didn’t I? Because he’d already taken my house and dignity, I didn’t feel it would make any difference…
That was until he bought a new house and has renovated and taken his new lady on a tropical holiday (without the kids. and we only ever had one holiday to Tas when my eldest was 9mths old)… I have never been able to afford a break, or a house since. (not to mention my car is breaking from the moving I’ve had to do).
I should’ve gone for his super, but I didn’t know that at the time and I didn’t think I could afford a lawyer (or want to waste my money on one).
It’s too late now.
I didn’t have time to grieve, I had to keep the littlies going.
I didn’t have time to get a full time job to apply for a house loan, I had to pick up my children from school and take them to school and get them to their activities. and take them to the doctors and dentists.
I didn’t have nights off to drink with buddies, or take a break from responsibility.
I don’t like whinging either, just makes me think of the women out there who refuse to let their children see, or even communicate with their dads…
And, I am nothing like them. Taking the men for every cent, taking the children and then taking the time to whinge about it all.