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I want to drive around to his house even though his wife is there and just take him all to myself. I can’t stand the thought that she is getting all the attention that I want.

I want to drag her out of her bed shove her in the car and take her away where she can never bother him again. I want someone else to deal with that lunatic so I can have my man back.

I am stupid, why would a man ever give up his family for a stupid other woman? Only I would be stupid enough to leave my husband for real love. Am I the only one would be willing to take that chance? What about me? I know I’m not the first stupid person on the planet who’s fallen for someone that she cannot have. But why would he lead me to believe that I could?

Why can I never have happiness, what is wrong with me that every time I start to think that things might actually be going my way and that I let down my f**ing guard and let damn feelings in, and I think I could possibly be the luckiest person on the planet and that I could possibly be happy in my life, a bombshell is dropped telling me I’m a loser and I cannot ever have what I want and to forget about it because I do not ever deserve happiness.

But by now I have given everything else up to be with this person. Given my all. Nothing left for me but pain. I cannot sleep, I don’t want to. I don’t want the pain of waking up in the morning and finding my dream gone, all of it, nothing left, not even a skerrick just to salvage.