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Each day seems to go slower than the one before. So many things to do, yet no motivation to do it. I think my brain has been tricked into thinking there’s no reward for all this hell and hard work it’s going through and that my body is going through. It seems interminable, especially this last couple of months after so much hell beforehand – since Feb at least.

I think I have run out of power to give, to give.

No excitement for the season

No will to want to play

No joy to join in Christmas

Just sadness for today.

Who could tell I’d have to be stripped bare

To start from the beginning again

Who else could even stand the stares

To be reborn and renewed again.

I will be treasured

I will be made whole

I understand my worth

I will stand my ground

Not join the fold

I will make my place on this earth.